Infant Reflux : One Mum’s Journey through Silent Reflux

INFANT REFLUX

Today we are chatting to Mum Sarah Stacker about infant reflux. Sarah is a dear friend of mine, and I have a huge amount of admiration for her after watching her journey through infant reflux with her daughter, which can only be described as she once put it , as “hell on earth”. I’ve been wanting to share her inspirational story for some time, to help raise awareness with new mums on how to cope with an infant reflux diagnosis. Thank you Sarah for sharing your story.

Infant Reflux : One Mum’s Journey through Silent Reflux

Thanks so much for joining us Sarah! My daughter had a very mild form of infant reflux which we were able to manage without medication, but I know there are very differing degrees of reflux that a baby can suffer from – some that absolutely require medication to survive the emotional and physical onslaught reflux can bring. Can you tell us about your experience with your daughter, Amedee?

Where do I start in trying to describe our experience? It was like being in a boxing match – but imagine not being a boxer and not knowing how to defend yourself, and taking hit after hit after hit with no one able to rescue you, and no bell at the end of the round so you don’t know when it is going end. You might get a reprieve for a day and you latch on to the thought “maybe things are changing”, “maybe she’s growing out of it” (which is what all the doctors kept saying) until the crying, the screaming, the not sleeping and the pulling off the breast return – and just keep coming.

Amedee was an extremely unsettled newborn, but as a new mum with nothing to compare it to, you just roll with the punches thinking it’s normal – and that you’re stuck in this hell hole. She was formally diagnosed with silent reflux at 3 months along with failure to thrive, and finally the paediatrician prescribed medication and we were admitted to hospital for tube feeding. However, that was just the beginning of our reflux hell hole.

INFANT REFLUX - ONE MUMS STORY
Amedee at 3 months – sleeping upright in hospital to stop her refluxing, and being tube fed

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Up Close & Personal with Sarah Renae Clark

How one mum used her PND experience as inspiration for her business

Today we are closing out our monthly focus on Anxiety, Depression and Mental Health in early Motherhood with a special interview. We are pleased to welcome Sarah Renae Clark to The Nursery Collective, a creative business owner, illustrator and designer - and a mother who has battled with Post Natal Depression. Her story is raw and yet so inspiring, read on to see how she turned this experience into an truly positive new path...

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Dealing with PND & Anxiety in early motherhood

By Amanda Cavallaro (The Anxiety Wellness Queen)

The transition into motherhood can be bitter sweet for many. The excitement of starting this new beginning with your new bundle of joy not only brings about a learning experience but significant challenges and changes to your life. For many mothers, these challenges and changes are difficult to adjust to and they find themselves dealing with emotional, psychological and physical struggles.

Postnatal Depression (PND) and Anxiety are common mental health conditions new mums experience during this transition. PND can often be difficult to identify due to the typical ‘Baby Blues’ that so many women experience postpartum, unfortunately this can make things confusing. PND is commonly suffered by a new mum following childbirth and typically arises due to a combination of psychological challenges and adjustments, hormonal changes and result of fatigue or trauma.

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How to tackle anxiety as a new mum

Dealing with anxiety as a new Mum

By Fi Morrison

I vividly remember sitting in the car in the parking lot of a local supermarket. I was sniffling back tears. I sat there listening to my son crying out of hunger, and audibly shaking as I spoke to my husband through the car’s Bluetooth. I had just (barely) survived a SHORT grocery shop with my 6 week-old son (I seriously only needed to purchase TWO items). I had been motoring through the aisles of this unfamiliar shop while my son wailed in the pram. I fielded unimpressed looks from other customers, and even a couple of reasonably empathetic comments from passersby.

I was very grateful for two things in that situation – one, a woman called out after me ‘you’re doing a wonderful job!’ as I motored on past. That really made me feel better (although to be honest, that was after the fact – at the time it only helped marginally as I was well and truly past flustered by that stage!). The other thing that helped was the conversation with my husband in the car afterwards. Gosh it was good to have someone to break down to and receive verbal encouragement from. It was the support I received that truly helped me through that tough season.

Dealing with Anxiety as a new Mum

You see, I suffer from some sort of anxiety. I haven’t been diagnosed, but I know my anxiety levels are higher than most average people. I know I worry about things too much. I know I overthink things, and I stress about ridiculous situations (like where am I going to park when I go somewhere new?). The other night, I literally didn’t fall asleep until after midnight because I was so anxious about another false alarm going off on the baby monitor. I know I suffer from some sort of anxiety. But was it any different to ‘normal’ first-time mum anxiousness?

The thing about becoming a new mum is that there will be some anxiety there for you to some degree. Whether you are ‘naturally’ an anxious person or you’re relatively laid-back, at some point it will hit you. Is my baby supposed to make weird noises at night (yes, yes they are)? Is my baby’s poo supposed to look like that? What is that red rash on his face? When am I supposed to feed him solids? Am I feeding him correctly? Mums are ambushed by so many questions, and often judgements based on their answers to these questions, that they are anxious about whether their child is normal, and whether they are mothering right. All new mums go through this at some point, and many might not be sure how to let go of these anxieties until they build up to breaking point. For me, I followed these five strategies below after my shopping incident to help me get through the tough times that motherhood brings:

GO TO YOUR SUPPORT NETWORKS

We had family and friends bring us meals in the first couple of weeks, which was absolutely brilliant - it removed the hassle of us going out shopping with a screaming baby, which was what I was most anxious about (especially after my previous incident!). Surrounding yourself with supportive loved ones can help minimise your fears and concerns as they offer practical and emotional support.

PRACTISE MINDFULNESS

Whatever this looks like for you and your beliefs, engaging in some sort of mindfulness can help you to relax, refocus and prioritise what is important. I found even having 20 minutes to myself after my husband returned from work helped to clear my mind of the things I was worried about, refocus on what is important to me (my family) and to move forward.

TAKE TIME TO EXERCISE

We all know exercise is important for physical health, but it also releases endorphins to make us feel emotionally better. Fresh air can give us a new – and often better - perspective on things, (and hey - a baby screaming in the stroller is moving and won't be annoying any one person for too long!)

FOCUS ON SELF CARE

Give yourself permission to have 'me-time' away from your child, even if it is only for an hour. Do it regularly, and indulge in something you are passionate about or enjoy (massages, movie, read a book, go for coffee). This will remove that feeling of anxiety you may be feeling, help you to relax and prepare you for the next task ahead (and you’ll most likely miss your baby in that short time – I know I sure did!)

BUILD UP YOUR MUM TRIBE

The best support I had was a group of new mothers who were going through the exact same experience as I was, who could empathise with my situation, and offered words of encouragement and support. There were other mothers who encouraged me to go out for coffee, and weren't the slightest bit put out by my screaming baby. There were mothers who would come up to me after a rough (screaming) session at mother's group and ask if I wanted them to hold my son to give me a break. If I could give you only one piece of advice, find your mum tribe as soon as possible, and stick with them because they will make your motherhood journey not only bearable, by enjoyable.

After I followed these strategies, I found myself feeling less anxious and was able to enjoy motherhood a lot more. While I still have moments of anxiety (just a part of my nature/personality I guess), I love everything about motherhood now and enjoy going out with my son.

 What tips or strategies have you found to alleviate the anxiety new mums face?

- Fi Morrison (Mumma Morrison)

CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THE WONDERFUL MUMMA MORRISON BLOG

As Fi mentions above, a huge part of getting through the early stages of motherhood is by having a great support network. Please feel free to join our Facebook group over at Find Your Village here – a truly supportive community of new and experienced mamas where you can vent frustrations or share your excitement in a space that is free from judgment.

If you haven’t already joined our mailing list, please do so you can be notified of our blogs as soon as they go live! Added bonus when you sign up - you will also receive your FREE download of "Your New Mum Checklist" - all the checklists you'll ever need when planning for baby, all in the one place.

 

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Anxiety, Mental Health & Depression in early Motherhood

Monthly Focus : Anxiety, Mental Health & Depression in early Motherhood

This month at The Nursery Collective, our blog will be focused around a very important topic for new Mums – Anxiety, Mental Health and Depression. From the very common baby-blues to more serious forms of post (or pre) natal depression, our mental health as new mums is one of the most vital areas we need to pay attention to. After all, if we can’t look after ourselves, how can we look after our little ones?

I thought I’d start by sharing some of my own experiences with anxiety when I was a brand-new Mum. I know now that the main trigger for my anxiety was lack of sleep. There’s a reason sleep deprivation is often called a form of torture! Without sleep, I just couldn’t function and my anxiety would go through the roof. Read our Baby Sleep Tips in the First Year blog post here if you are going through any sleep deprivation and need some help! I would burst into tears over the tiniest thing and I felt like the lack of sleep would never end, and I’d never get through it – dramatic I know, but that’s how I felt at the time. Luckily for me I had an incredible support network throughout this period, firstly my Mum and then my mother-in-law flew from overseas to stay and help me through the first few months. Looking back now I’m sure my wonderful mother-in-law thought I was a complete loony as she was with me during my highest levels of anxiety – but having her around to talk to and be of support made the world of difference. We used to take the night in shifts so I could get some quality sleep when my little one decided he was going to wake every 45min to an hour all night long. I was also lucky to have my closest girlfriends around, most of which were also new mamas, so there were plenty of shoulders to cry on.

I don't have many photos of me from this particular time, but here's one I found. I distinctly remember meeting one of my best mates at a mall after having zero sleep...behind that smile was one very tired and anxious new mama, note the dark circles!!

My anxiety also manifested in needing to control my environment as much as possible. Which is completely bonkers when you have a new baby - I can see that now! But at the time I definitely started becoming more OCD – keeping things clean and tidy, and sticking to a schedule as much as possible. So, when my baby didn’t sleep as much as the books said he should, I would lose the plot. Literally. The amount of pressure I was putting on myself was ridiculous. One of the midwives at the hospital had suggested I take notes on when baby was feeding, pooping, passing urine – just to keep an eye on things in the first few days. This became my obsession. I actually kept a record of all this.... for one year. Yes, you heard that right - ONE YEAR.  Wow, that feels so embarrassing to admit! I physically wrote down the time of every feed (and which side I fed on, later how many mls he would take in a bottle), when he pooped and how long he would sleep for at each nap and through the night. When we started weaning onto solids, I also included what he ate for every meal, to ensure he was getting the right nutrients and a wide variety of foods! TOTALLY insane right?! I actually ran out of pages after he turned one and finally stopped. It was incredibly liberating to throw it away, and although I can laugh about it now, in some ways writing it all down helped me feel some control during this period of complete overwhelm.

When my second was born, I did take notes, but only for the first fortnight or so – as a second-time mum my perspective was totally different. I had help with the cleaning, my eldest to also look after and frankly I didn’t have as much time to be as anxious. The triggers were still there, but this time I knew what I had to do to get through the difficult phases. I certainly had my moments, for example during the dreaded 4 month sleep regression, but “this too shall pass” had become my mantra and helped pull me through.

Talking about these issues openly is so important, these feelings are nothing to be ashamed of, or embarrassed by. But it’s hard I know! As much as my feelings of anxiety were minute compared to those suffering from full blown post-natal depression, it was still difficult to share at the time. So, during March we will be focusing our blog on these very topics, to hopefully shed some more light on ways to cope with anxiety and depression as a new mum. Fi Morrison, our regular blog contributor from Mumma Morrison will be up first with her take on tackling anxiety as a new mum. Amanda Cavallaro, from The Anxiety Wellness Queen will also be writing for us this month on how we can use mindfulness to deal with anxiety during pregnancy/as a new mum, as well as about PND in early motherhood, the signs and symptoms, and what to do next. We will also be featuring a few interviews - Kirsty and Lana, the founders of The Parents Village, who built their business based on the support they felt was lacking when they themselves were new mums, and Sarah Clark, who also built her business after finding ways to cope with PND.

A huge part of getting through the early stages of pregnancy and motherhood is by having a great support network. Not only does it take a village to raise a child, but more importantly to raise a mother. Read our blog post on the importance of finding your village as a new mum here. And please feel free to join our Facebook group over at Find Your Village here – a truly supportive community of new and experienced mamas where you can vent frustrations or share your excitement in a space that is free from judgment.

We look forward to sharing all this with you over the next few weeks. If you haven’t already joined our mailing list, please do so you can be notified of our blogs as soon as they go live! Added bonus when you sign up - you will also receive your FREE download of "Your New Mum Checklist" - all the checklists you'll ever need when planning for baby, all in the one place.

Feel free to comment below on your own experiences with anxiety or depression, or if you have any specific topics you’d like us to cover.

Love,
Cathy

 

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